30 Days of Thanksgiving – Day 9

Grateful for my in-laws.

Because of them, I married my Darling-Love!  And because of that, our little unit has expanded with the arrival of a spunky cool little dude.

A long time ago, I made the declaration that I will never ever marry an American.  My roots are from the mountain region of the Philippines and I have always assumed that I will be marrying someone from the same area and settle down in the same place.  My vision of a married me never went beyond the mountains of northern Philippines.

But God had other plans.  And funny and mysterious how it all came about.

One summer in high school, I went to a youth camp at a town near us.  These folks weren’t the usual crowds I hang out with because its participants were from the big city churches and some from the small mountain towns.  I knew of one guy who was going to one of the city churches but who also grew up in our small town church.  There were many new friends made at the end of the week-long camp and many assurances that should I wander through their neck of the woods, I shouldn’t hesitate to visit their place of fellowship.  Fond memories.

So I made it to the city for College.  By the middle of my second year, my curiosity got the better of me to seek out the place of worship where I met some of the friendliest and most fun and funny friends I met at camp some years back.  I knew the general area so I loaded a jeepney (renowned Filipino means of public transportation) and hoped for the best.  It was Sunday morning and I was sure that where I will hear singing is where the church ought to be located.  I literally followed my nose and my ears.  And wouldn’t you know it…I found the church!

It was like youth camp all over again.  The delight in their welcome was so incredibly uplifting; secretly, I decided that this is where I will be worshiping from then on.  I’m not sure if that was the Sunday I met Pastor Mike and Ma’am Carolyn Ballast but I sure saw them from afar.  Not too long after my first visit, rehearsals for their Easter Cantata commenced.  Of course, there was an invitation for me to join but I was rather timid and unsure of a decision since I still felt like an outsider.  Also, it meant a serious commitment to fellowship and community, of which I was rather unprepared for.  Or so it seemed.

Throughout the rehearsals and eventual performances in the city and three other churches in the mountains, I have come to know many more of this close-knit community.  They were like one big happy family of a church.  Literally.  Because there was not one person in the community who is not related by blood or marriage to another person.  Cool ha?

Then at the end of the Cantata tour, I, along with some other young fellas from the big group, were summoned for a ‘serious talk.’  By young, I mean four gals and two guys ages between 14 and 27.  The reason for the meeting was to pitch the idea to these young’ns about forming an evangelistic music group and to pray about it before making a commitment.

Thus began my getting to know my future in-laws for two years before finally meeting the man I love.  I didn’t know that at the time, of course.  (By the way, if you haven’t pieced this together yet, my in-laws were part of the church as missionaries.)

Rehearsals were once on Fridays every week for a repertoire of about 10-12 songs and a target tour kick-off in the Summer when school let out.  I looked forward to every Friday of that two years because I got to eat good, healthy, delicious meals complete with dessert.  Ma’am Carolyn was not only a good musical director, she was also a good cook and she knew how to take care of us, giving free Vitamin Cs at the slightest sign of a sore throat.  School had its demands but I was always happy when Friday rolled along.  I much preferred singing than solving Algebra problems.

During tour, the team members were almost always in close proximity with each other.  We pretty much bonded like brothers and sisters with Ma’am Carolyn being the mother hen.  We knew who was having heart problems and the usual girly stuff.  Not sure we knew much what was going on with the boys in our team other than the little stuff they let us in on their work-related problems.  Well, that and some family-related stuff too.  Oh, how much fun we had!

Earlier in the year, the first-born of Pastor Mike and Ma’am Carolyn came to live for a month in the Philippines as a fulfillment of the second half of his sabbatical from his work in Eastern Europe.  It was rumored, too, that he was there to find a wife.  Tan…tan…tan!

Unbeknownst to many, Ma’am Carolyn already had someone in mind and she claims that upon their first-born son’s arrival, all she really did was introduce them.  This bears mentioning that the woman intended for introduction was a church member there in the city.

While this was all happening, there was also a budding romance between two of our team members.   I forgot to mention that of the six original team members, two were sisters, two were brother and sister, and the other two were unrelated.  The team welcomed an additional member our second year, a drummer, who is the brother of one of the two unrelated ones.  That left me out as the one without a blood relative in the group…not that it matters, of course.  And soon, those two lovebirds were going to be hitched.  Their engagement took place between rehearsals and we were all deliriously happy for both of them!  Their wedding was set for May, a month and a few weeks after our second tour was over.

We hit our second year together as a group running at full speed.  There was a wedding in July for the eldest Ballast son.  The group was slated to sing at the wedding so there was extra work to do.

Before going any further, I must mention that at this time, I, without realizing it, have formed a fairly deep friendship with Ma’am Carolyn, what with the piling years of ministry work together.  She voluntarily became my counselor without my even asking it.  I trusted her with my deepest darkest secrets…well, that’s really putting it in an overdramatic fashion.  But you get the idea.

Back to the wedding…as in every weddings, families gather to the place of celebrations, no matter how far they have to come from.  And, here is where the youngest Ballast son enters the picture.  He was arriving from the U.S. a week before the wedding.  The group was in the process of recording some songs for an album that was hoped to be released during our second tour.  Incidentally, the youngest Ballast son is a tech-geek audio-engineering expert and was recruited by Ma’am Carolyn to do the recording of as many songs as we can cram in that crazy week’s schedule.

Leading up to his arrival, there begun many teasing around.  And there were many…well, three of us single ladies remaining as the other girl was already taken.  Actually, her sister was taken too, so really, just two of us as targets for teasing.

And this was the epic moment I declared myself loyal to my tribe – that I will never marry anyone outside of it.  Really, I just wanted to be let out of the teasing…it was getting insanely incessant and excessive.  And…having seen his hugely bespectacled 5th Grade class picture on the wall of his parents’ house the last couple years…it wasn’t exactly love at first sight.

The recording sessions and the wedding came and went.  And…as if my head went into some amnesiac reaction, I agreed to go out for coffee with the youngest Ballast son.  The rest is history as they say.

After wrapping up our second tour as a group, the two love-birds tied the knot and a month later, my ‘American’ love and I were married.  I quoted ‘American’ because in many many ways, he really is more Filipino at heart than American, having lived in the Philippines since he was four up until he went to College in America.  So technically, he does belong to my larger Filipino tribe.  Pretty sweet ha?

My Mother-in-law, whom I fondly called “Ma’am” during our ministry years together, has since become a most wonderful “Mom” to me.  We really hit it off quite well as friends and I am most grateful for that.  To this day, she will readily admit that “All I did was introduce them” when we refer to her as the family matchmaker.  After all, she’s introduced two women to her two remaining single sons and had two weddings two years in a row.  What a feat!

Thankful that my in-laws have been wonderful second parents to me in many many ways, long before I even met and married their son.  They’ve counseled, prayer for and with me, and took me in as one of their own.  And…they sure know how to have a good laugh.  I thank the LORD for you!!

*Shout out to my Father-in-law, who is turning 50 again!  Happy birthday, Dad -from us Ballast fam in K-town.*